If you are reading this, you probably suspect your spouse of leading a double life. They way they act seems suddenly different to you – they just are not the same person you married. Too many times, the victim of a cheating spouse is the last to know. They assume their relationship is safe from infidelity and they do not know what to look for. Read on and you will get a better idea of what you should be looking for that uncovers their secret double life.

Most spouses that cheat, for obvious reasons, make every effort to hide their secret double life. What they do not realize is that their efforts are paired with a heightened level of anxiety and guilt. They know what they are doing is wrong (whether they care or not) and getting caught is the last thing they want to happen.

Being overly anxious will manifest itself in some different ways:

• Less communication with you – They worry that excessive conversation might lead them to slip up. If they seem to be less chatty and make efforts to avoid confrontation, you might be dealing with cheater.
• Heightened senses – When you go out, do they seem like they are on the look-out? Do they jump when the phone rings or there is a knock at the door? Are they frequently questioning your every move? When action is out of their control, they worry what might right around the corner!
• Lack of intimacy – When your spouse is cheating on you, they probably will find it difficult to be close with you. Part of the cheating spouse might even consider they are cheating on their secret partner if they get intimate with you! If there is a drastic change in your intimate life, you better dig deeper and find out what is up somewhere else!

It is likely that you will see a change in your spouse. Whether you choose to deal with it or ignore it will be up to you.

We get hang up calls from time to time – usually someone has dialed the wrong number and when they realize it they hang up. You probably are guilty of doing it yourself. No big deal, everyone makes mistakes. Maybe, however, you have noticed there are more frequent hang ups, unknown or unfamiliar numbers on your caller id. Who could be calling?

You spouse seems to rush to answer the phone, and when they talk they are very quiet, and might even move to another room for more privacy. They tell you it was work-related, maybe a wrong number – but you can only buy that for so long. You sense something is up, even to go as far as to suspect your spouse is cheating on you.

Unless the incoming calls are in the public domain, such as many land line numbers, there is a good chance you are not going to get much information on who is calling. Cell phone companies has actually done a great job of keeping their number databases private and secure. Not all hope is lost, however.

Certain companies have gained access to the large cell phone databases, paying dearly for such access. You probably have heard of a reverse phone lookup. If not, that is where you have the number and can get additional information on who has that number – their name, address, other numbers they may have or had. You can access this additional information online using a reverse phone lookup service.

There are a bunch of web sites that offer a “free” reverse phone lookup service. Don’t be fooled. These companies have paid to access the databases and giving it away free to you just isn’t going to happen. If you expect to gain additional information, expect there to be a fee involved.

Some website offer a “one time only” fee that gives you unlimited access to reverse phone lookups, while others will charge a fee for each search you do. The costs are very reasonable and in the end, worth every penny. If your spouse is getting phone calls from their secret lover, you will quickly get their identity with a reverse phone lookup.

You probably know someone that has been in a relationship that ended because of infidelity. You thank the stars that your relationship is so secure; but is it? There may have been times throughout your relationship when you had doubts, only to chalk it up to paranoia. Lately, however, something about your spouse just does not seem right, and those suspicions of living with a cheating spouse are more of a concern. What do you do? Well, whether they are cheating on you or not, there are certain tell-tale signs to be on the lookout for.

It goes without saying that a cheating spouse is keeping a very big secret. They are continuously on edge in fear that they will be found out. They are paranoid, and probably will appear more anxious than normal. Small things like the phone ringing, taps on the shoulder and even simple day to day chat can trigger their anxiety. They will see themselves as if under a microscope and could feel that your questions are out of order (“How was your day?” or “What did you do today?”). Either they will make attempts to avoid conversation all together or they will be more aggressive and argumentative when they talk to you.

When it comes to their work, you may notice changes in every day habits. Do they leave for work earlier than normal? Are they coming home late, or calling to let you know they have to stay later at work? When you call to talk to them, are they conveniently out of the office? Are they taking more time “making themselves up”? You might want to look into these a little closer. If the reasons for these changes are just work related, fine. If you decide to ignore these signs, you could be sorry.

Another sign of a cheating spouse should be pretty obvious – lack of intimacy. If your spouse is intimate with someone else, they are going to distance themselves from you. They will show little desire for sexual activity and any form of closeness will be avoided. Depending on your own situation, you probably will sense this pretty quickly. Before going all out and accusing them of cheating, you will need to consider what factors in their life could be affecting the intimacy in your relationship. Money, health and work can all affect someone in many ways. Talk to your spouse, show concern, and see if they can fill you in.