What would you do if you discovered your spouse was cheating on you? You probably choose to believe that infidelity only happens to other couples – not you. Unfortunately, the odds are not in your favor; it seems more and more relationships are destroyed when one partner cheats on the other. Knowledge is your best weapon in fighting infidelity. Knowing what signs could indicate an unfaithful spouse can help you prevent, and at worst, catch a cheating spouse in the act.

Avoidance

One red flag that could alert you to a cheating spouse is their distance. They will avoid conversation as much as possible, worrying they could accidentally leak their dirty little secret. With a new love in their life, no longer do they turn to you for idle chat. They are more than aware of their guilt, and if they can keep their distance, there is less of a chance of you finding out. If your spouse is usually not a paranoid person, and now seems more on edge, they could be hiding something from you.

Work

When they tell you they have to stay late at the office – are they really working? If there are more excuses to work late than is normal, you probably want to check into it. A quick call at work or a surprise visit could reveal a lot. Maybe they are leaving for work earlier than they used to – a way to catch a quick visit with their secret lover.

First Impressions

New relationships are all about impressing each other. Each person can be easily influenced by the other person. Your spouse will be no different. If this secret lover has preferences as they relate to appearance, opinion and like/dislikes, you could see your spouse assimilate to the same. Are they wearing something new they normally would never consider? Are they wearing a new cologne/perfume? Has exercising become a big issue all of a sudden? Lifestyle changes like these on their own might not seem out of the ordinary, however, it is best to keep an eye out for sudden, and sometimes drastic changes.

Sadly, many victims of infidelity do not find out they are living with a cheating spouse until years later. This is partly because they would never expect it to happen to them, and they are not really looking for it. Anything that seems off they disregard, and that turns out being the wrong thing to do. If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, they probably will exhibit some of the following traits.

Lack Of Affection

This probably will be one of the easier things to spot. You have had some time (even years) to gauge the intimacy level of your relationship. A spouse that is cheating on you will have someone else they turn to now – for everything. They will find it very difficult to confide in you and will worry they will slip up and come across as insincere; thus alerting you that something is up.

Work Schedule Adjustments

How many late nights at work do they really have? If there is a sudden need to stay at work late you might want to check deeper. I suggest you call to see how they are doing or even drop in with a surprise treat. You may also notice that your spouse leaves early to get to work – this should have you raising an eyebrow or two. People are creatures of habit and if they have taken the same route to go to work for years, why suddenly are they opting for a new route?

Dressed To Impress (And Other Stuff)

This flame they are drooling over might just have different tastes than you do and this will lead your cheating spouse to re-evaluate their look. This can include a new wardrobe, a change of hair style, the scent of a new cologne/perfume, and they might even go as far as to begin a new exercise regime. All of this in the name of impressing their secret lover. If you notice drastic changes like this, you want to be extra observant and aware.

Are you getting that feeling that something is different with your significant other? The ways they act, react, and even interact with you just seem off. Something in your heart makes you suspect your spouse is cheating on you. Before you outright accuse them and potentially cause relationship trouble, check to see if any of the following signs exist. If they do, it probably is in your best interest to investigate further.

1. Change in wardrobe, perfume/cologne, and other outer appearance.

Someone new in their life will give them a chance to impress. This will come about as brand new clothing and styles, a cologne or perfume that this secret lover likes, even a hair style change. If there seems to be sudden and sometimes drastic changes, you might want to consider your spouse is cheating on you.

2. Unknown phone numbers and purchases.

You might not recognize numbers on their cell phone or the purchases they are making on credit cards. The cell phone numbers can easily be checked online, giving you the callers name and address. For credit card purchases, you probably will need to dig deeper by checking statements or calling the credit card company.

3. Work related excuses.

Is your spouse coming home late from work or do you notice they are leaving earlier to get to work? While it might be work related, there is a good chance they are up to no good. If possible, check in with them – you will soon find out whether they are telling the truth.

4. More distance between you two.

If your spouse is cheating on you it is likely you will notice they are less affectionate and close with you. They now share their close moments with someone else, and it probably would feel odd to be intimate with you as well. That look they once had when you met, is gone and they spend a whole lot more time by themselves.

It will never happen to me, or so you thought; and then it does. You have reason to believe your spouse is cheating on you. Something about the way they have been acting recently just seems out of character from what you have been used to. How can you be truly sure? Knowing the signs of a cheating spouse will help you get to the truth about their secret double life.

Cheating Sign 1 – More Time Away From Home

With something or rather, someone, new in their life, a cheater is going to find some excuse to be away from home. Here are a few excuses that could alert you to a cheating spouse:

• Staying late at the office (more than usual)
• Out of town business trips
• Leaving early to go to work
• Out of the office when you call or visit

Keep in mind that there may be legitimate reasons for any of the above, so before jumping to conclusions, it is best to investigate deeper. This might include visits to the office, or keeping in touch when they are out of town.

Cheating Sign 2 – Lost In Thought

We probably have all been there at some point – so “in love” that nothing else can enter our thoughts! They fantasize about the next encounter. Unless your cheating spouse is already “somewhere out there” you might notice they are more absent-minded, caught in day dreams and unusually lazy and empty of desire to do much of anything. They are quite content to opt out of a get-together with friends or participate in anything with you – it would only interrupt their dream time. Get involved with them since they have no desire and see if you can pinpoint the reasons for this obvious change of character.

Cheating Sign 3 – The New Look

We all know that first impressions are very important. If someone is trying to let their light shine, sometimes it takes a bit of effort – even change. Depending on the desires and interests of this secret lover, your cheating spouse might consider a change in look, including clothing, perfumes/colognes, hair style and physical appearance. It might also come out as a change in attitude, interests and desires. Sudden changes like these are usually due to the impact of an external influence – like a new significant other. Don’t pass these changes off as nothing important.

You don’t need a bloodhound to catch a cheating spouse. With a trained eye, it is pretty easy to see the red flags of infidelity. If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, and want more concrete evidence, then read along. Here are some insider cheater “tip-offs” that will stop their secret double life in its tracks!

Tip-Off #1 – Their New Look

Your cheating spouse probably thinks they have found the one they will be with for the rest of their life. They will do anything to impress them, even change aspects of their appearance. It might be a new cologne/perfume they received as a gift. Maybe their secret love interest likes a partner in the latest clothing trends. Whatever the case is, sudden and sometimes drastic changes to appearance might stem from a secret love affair.

Tip-Off #2 – The Daze

When you are in love, there is nothing else you can think about! Your spouse will likely spend all day lost in thought. They become overly distracted and have little desire to do anything, after all, it might interfere with this dreamy time. They probably will pass on getting involved in group activities as well.

Tip-Off #3 – “Working” Late

So when they call to tell you they need to stay late at work, do you sometimes wonder if that is all they are doing? Once in a while they might need to work late, but if it becomes more of a regular thing, you will probably want to investigate further. I would even suggest you drop in on them with a surprise late night snack – they should really appreciate that!

Tip-Off #4 – In Your Face!

To help distance themselves from you they probably will start to become more defensive and argumentative. If they choose to start fights out of the blue, you better know what is behind it. The thought process is this: get you mad, spent more time apart.

Tip-Off #5 – “Not Tonight, Honey…”

This one should be pretty obvious. Changes to your sex life usually is a sign of something else. It might not necessarily be another person, as other stresses like money and work can take its toll. Show concern and try to get to the reasons. If they are not willing to talk (everyone likes to whine) you might want to consider another person giving them what they need.

To catch a cheating spouse, you first must know what to look for. Sometimes a cheater will do everything to protect their secret double life. Fortunately, the signs of a cheater are easy to detect and spot. They might think they have the wool over your eyes, but that is far from the truth! Here are some great pointers that can help uncover their love affair.

Your spouse calls you to tell you, yet again, they are staying at work late. This might just be a cover for their secret love affair, and it might be time to bring your poor over-worked spouse a late night snack! They might also have an out of town business trip to take. It might be they leave extra early for work as well. Whatever the case, you probably want to dig deeper.

Changes to appearance can be another sign of a cheating spouse. To gain the affection of a new flame sometimes takes a bit of showing off. If they want to impress this new lover, changing their appearance – clothing, hair style, cologne/perfume – might be in order. Sudden changes usually are the sign of life changes. Find out more about why they suddenly are wearing something, that six months earlier, they would not be caught dead wearing.

Depending on the depth of this new relationship, the intimacy you both have could be very lacking. If sex is the center of the affair, they probably will come up with all sorts of excuses why you two cannot take a “roll in the hay”. They will appear distant, there will be less conversation, and they probably will be daydreaming more. Unless you can pin this lack of desire to something specific, it might mean there is more to it.

Many times the goings on of a cheating spouse go undetected, the victim only finding out when it is too late. Most of the time, a happy marriage is assumed, the last thing expected is infidelity. Unfortunately, seemingly strong relationships have been destroyed by the double life of a cheating spouse. You may or may not suspect your spouse is cheating on you at this point. I have you wondering now, don’t I. With that said, here are some plainly obvious red flags that will alert you to a cheating spouse.

Your spouse spends more time away from home.

This might include late nights at work, out of town business trips and leaving extra early for work. While on their own they could be legitimate, showing added interest in their work through visits and phone calls might reveal more than you expected.

Your spouse has a sudden change in appearance.

New relationships can reshape the interests and appearance of a cheating spouse. To impress this new lover, who might like a man with a buzz cut, could lead your spouse and his normally full head of hair to the barber. Look also for changes in clothing fashions, colognes/perfumes, and even exercise regimes.

Your spouse seems lost in “la-la” land.

You might start to catch your spouse daydreaming more than normal. They could be less inclined to do things around the house as they spend every waking moment re-visiting those recent getaways with their new flame. If they spend an extra amount of time staring out the window, it is less likely due to a sudden interest in passing traffic!

Your spouse is distant when it comes to your intimate life.

If they are “getting it” elsewhere, you probably are going to find your sex life lacking. They have become close and intimate with another person, and it would take extra effort on their part to seem interested in you. So why bother? Sorry that seems harsh, but that’s the fact of the matter.

Your spouse is argumentative.

Argument equals less time associating with you and a way to easily distance themselves from you. Watch for them to begin to pick a fight about the most basic things. They probably are guilt-ridden and the less time they have to face you, the better for them.

Your spouse is paranoid.

Do you notice your spouse looking over their shoulder a lot, or maybe jumping every time the phone rings? With this huge secret they must bear, they have a need to be extra careful and cautious. To ease their own minds, you might get twenty questions every time you answer a call or go out on your own.

Your spouse has unknown expenses on your credit cards and bank account.

Showering a new love in material things is all part of creating an impression. If you see extra expenses on a credit card or a dwindling balance on your bank account, you probably want to investigate further.

Dealing with the thoughts and feelings that your spouse might be cheating on you has led to sleepless nights, anxiety and an unsettled feeling in your stomach. Not knowing what the truth is turns out to only be half the battle. Not knowing what to look for when you are dealing with a cheating spouse is the other half.

1. Change in wardrobe
The first sparks of a new relationship, even those concerning infidelity, have us doing whatever it takes to please the other person. If your spouse’s new lover desires a certain look in a mate, it is likely you are going to see changes in your spouse. This could be anything from a new haircut style, to a change in cologne/perfume, to a fashion overhaul. If your spouse wants to impress this secret lover, they will do whatever it takes.

2. Lack of attention
This lack of attention is toward you and the home front. All of their attention is actually focused on the affair. Like any new relationship, their thoughts will be flooded with this secret lover, leaving little room to think about anything else. They will appear lost in thought, have trouble concentrating, and probably have a lack of motivation.

3. Anxiety/Paranoia
On the flip side of a lack of attention, there are those cheaters that know they are guilty of infidelity and on alert mode. They worry about getting caught, seeming to look over their shoulder more. They question what you are doing, and when posed with a question can get defensive without reason. They jump when the phone rings or someone knocks at the door. These cheaters are so worried about being caught, they unknowingly will expose themselves.

4. Excessive spending
This is easy to check on. Do you notice higher than normal usage on the cell phone? Are there charges for merchandise and food on credit cards and accounts you know nothing about? You might even find large withdrawals – they think it is easier to track cash purchases. In an effort to impress this hot new flame, spending can get out of hand.

5. Irregular work-related patterns
Late nights at the office is not always “late nights at the office”. If your spouse starts to spend more time at work – using excessive workload as an excuse – you might want to investigate further. You may notice they leave for work earlier than normal too. Going out of town on business is another cover for the affair they are having. Being in tune with your spouse’s work is a must.

When you first heard that your best friend’s spouse cheated, you were shocked and angry. In your opinion, they had the perfect relationship. It was the last thing you would have expected. After listening to your friend and what had transpired, you started to get an ill feeling in the pit of your stomach. The actions of your friend’s spouse mirrored some of the recent actions of your own spouse. Could you be next? If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, how would you be certain? Here are red flags that could alert you to a cheating partner.

One indicator that your spouse might be cheating on you is the extra time they are spending away from home. This might include late nights at work, going in to work on days off, or out of town business meetings. You may notice that your spouse leaves earlier for work than normal. Other than work excuses, they might offer to run errands for you. When you go somewhere, they may overly question you as to where you are going and how long you are going to be gone. All of these give them the time frame to spend with their new secret lover.

Out of the blue changes to attire and appearance might be related to a cheating partner. The flame they are focusing on just might like to see your spouse in a certain style of clothing. They might like their lovers with short hair. Whatever the case may be, in an effort to please this secret lover, they will do almost anything. If your spouse has NEVER liked or even considered a certain fashion statement but now does, you are going to want to take a closer look.

If this affair is hot and heavy, you might see a sharp swing in sex and intimacy. If they are getting it somewhere else, why would they come to you for it? The lack of intimacy can be emotionally draining, and might blind you to what they are up to. If you blame yourself for this sudden change, you may not even consider they are having sex elsewhere. You probably will have to step back from the situation, and look at it with an clear and open mind. Being intimate with you might even get them believing they are cheating on their new love interest!

Do you suspect you have a cheating husband on your hands? In your own circle of friends, there have been relationships torn apart because of infidelity. You fear your relationship might be next. Knowing what to look for will help you determine if you are dealing with a cheating husband. Here are tell-tale signs to look out for.

Men are different than women when it comes to an affair. Many times the advances of a woman, for any reason whatsoever, are interpreted as sexual in nature. Sorry men, but we are weak by nature when dealing with the attraction of the opposite sex. It might not be that men go looking for an affair, it is more that if the opportunity comes up, they jump in with both feet.

The reason I mention this is because women need to keep an eye on their man – don’t give them a reason to cheat. Keep them interested in you and your own bedroom!

One thing people do when during the initial phase of a relationship is go out of their way to impress and please the other person – small gifts and remembrances are examples. What will more likely tip you off however, is visible changes in your husband. This new flame they are trying to impress might like your husband’s hair short, or the smell of a specific cologne. It might mean he suddenly goes out and buys a bunch of new clothes – even styles and types he normally stays away from. A simple comment from this new lover about the body style she likes could have your man running to the gym! Do not let these sudden and sometimes dramatic changes pass without a second look.

When a person is having an affair or thinking about it, they know they are up to no good. They will have guilt, and no matter how much that guilt bothers them, it’s funny how they continue on cheating. With this guilt on their minds, your husband might become more anxious and paranoid. Do you notice they look over their shoulder more or seem to be on the lookout for someone? They probably will second guess a lot of the things you say and do as well – wondering if they are being interrogated. They become interested in where you are going and how long you are going to be gone. This “on edge” change in character could be a sight of a cheating husband.